I don’t want to feel the heat in my skin
while my voice is rising
to think so irrationally
that my fists hurt

I don’t want to feel the tears rising
as I hold my choking inside
To show you my vulnerable side
when you are watching

I don’t want to talk to make you feel better
To feel the energy drop by trying
to make only you happy
as I am losing all the time

I don’t want to feel happy
when I know it will end
and I feel the emptiness
of something I know
I never had